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The Haunted World of El Superbeasto, 2009 (Home Video Review)


Note: This morning, I received an e-mail from a reader calling himself t1tfan69_97. It is not Kicking the Seat’s policy to run guest commentary, but in the interest of shaking things up a bit, I invite you to check out the following review in its uncensored, original form.

Sup Kickseat? I checkded the new Rob Zomby movie Haunted World of el Superbesto and thot you might like a reveiw. I looooove you’re site and thot you should see this movie its off the chain fo sho. Just sos you know where i’m coming from I like all the Rob Zomby movies like Haloween and Haloween 2 and even that one with the carnival house and the bodies init; Devils Rejecs was oober lame cuz there wasnt hardly any blood or tits and there was 2 much charactersization in it.

But anywaze I saw Suberbeasto on dvd and, man does Rob Zomibe outdo himself with this one. If your into like the cartoons of the modern times like Ren an Stimpy and you like tha Cartoon Network Adult swim and all that cool shit ur gonna love EL superBeasto. It doesn’t waist time on like plots and making you get all feely and gay with getting to no the people in it cuz Rob Zombie nos that shit is strait up 4 art movies and peeple who think movies are supposed to be good all the time. Its the story of a guy whose like a loocha/Library named L. Superbeestoe and he gets tha mad pussy when he makes movies with nekkid bitches in em. Until one day his sister whose got the voice of Baby from Devils Rejecs and she only has one i and the others a patch, she shows up and is all “like, you gotta help me stop Doctor Satin from ruling the world” and look out theres nazi Zombys. So l Superbesto and the one i chick fitght monsters and they have all these monsters from others movies like Dr. Fibes and Letherface and the alien and Jack Nickels from Shining in it cuz I guess Rob Zombie likes omages to the other monster movies. But they fight dr. Satin and you know where its all going from after minit five but theres’ still like almost a hour and-a half left to go.

BUT the best part of the movie is the titties! You get to see every bitch in this movies’ tits and there all of em really big and round and they don’t move and they all look like the same perfect plastic boobs like on the really old baywatcher girl—the one with the sex tape who was on that tv show with the santa clauze back in the 90s—but you also get to see they’re asses and one of the girls—i dont remember who cuz they all kinda look the same after awile—but you get to see her fuckin beaver!!!

Theres also lots of noise and explostions and people killing and cutting and shooting and its real good, like i said it doesn’t wast your time on stories and boring parts cause it you have a whole team of animaters who went to school for a long time and got degrees and stuff youdont want them to bother with “emotions” and new things no ones ever seen cuz that’s all faggy stuff when you can see blood and explosins and Nazis (but not like the bad nazies there zombys -and hitlers head is in a jar like in futurama—but this movie makes that idea more original). Me and my friends downloaded this movie and finnished watching it before homeroom yesterday and they all thot it was fuckin awesome 2.

I read on Imdb that theres alot of famus voices in the movie like Paul Giamatti and Rosario Dawson—and its cool cuz her charcter shows her titties and I imagined it was HER titties and that was cool cuz shes usually one of those actreses whos above doing this kind of shit in real life. But if you look at all the voices in this movie you wonder if Rob Zomby had like blackmale stuff on them cuz how else could he get all these respectable peopl in this crazy fucked up cartoon?! I doubt they even red the script or whatrever.

All in all if your a fan of Zombys other movies this is something REALLY DIFFERENT cause its not as serebereal in fact if you like “good” movies you might turn it off after ten minutes. But if you like tits and talking monkeys and old jokes told by naked girls who show there bushes off while killing zombies and the devil and a robot witha penis thats a joystick, your gonna love eL SUPERBESATO!

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Reader Comments (1)

Dear Mr. Fan. While I do endorse your policies regarding cinema, I must take issue with your misspelling of "superbeasto" as "superbesato" in the last paragraph of your review. Perhaps it was simply a typographical error? I certainly hope so!

I look forward to your further insights on our exciting world of cinema!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPhil Are Go!

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