I’m beginning to question the wisdom of running guest reviews. While it’s flattering to think that there are actual fans of Kicking the Seat who are willing to contribute their own opinions, I must say I’m concerned by the caliber of writing and thought that goes into them. Presented here, in its original, unedited form, is another write-up by titfan69_67 (who reviewed The Haunted World of El Superbeasto last November).
I should note that there is no truth to the rumors that titfan68_97 and I are the same person. Though we briefly shared a cubicle at a telemarketing call center and, through a series of bizarre coincidences, took the same girl to the Benet Academy Turnabout Dance in 1994, I can assure you, dear readers, that we are very different people.
Y’know, I was kinda worried about She’s Out of My League cuz there’s a bunch of critics out there who’ve been giving it like really good reviews and stuff; guys I usually consider really stupid cus they like analyze films and talk about characters development and plot mechanisms or whatever—these guys have been saying this movie is good—that its not like those other guymeetsgirlfallsinlovewithgirlloosesgirl movies, it’s smart and funny an real. SO i was thinking it’s gotta be shit if they like it. But my buddy Dana concinved me to check it out cuz the girl in it’s got these huge mellon titties and since its “R” she might show um and stuff. So me an Dana we checked it out and I gotta tell ya, fuck those critics, cuz this movie isn’t smart at all. I loved it.
The main guy kinda sucked cuz he’s only been the geeky backup geek in movies like Knocked Up and the other Jud Appatow movies—he’s this skinny, baby chested nerd named Jay Baruchel and he’s playing Kirk in the movie who works at the airport. He reminded me of the dad from American Pie (I think his names Ugene Levvy. But he’s like that guy if that guy was fourteen and had like a nervous twitch all the time while he was shitting his pants all the time.
SO any ways, Kirks one of those losers who has a bitterness complexs against anyone whose attractive or sucsesfull and he just wines alot with his looser friends who also all work at the airporta nd they rate girls and guys on a scale of 1 to ten and they’r e all like 5s except theyr’e threes. So any ways, Kirk meets a girl named Molly who leaves her phone at security and he keeps it for her and gives it back to her at this party she has later on and she’s got these huge teeth and bigger than life boobs; i mean like the kind you see in national georrgrapic but white and you just want to buy the unrated dvD now so they might have a scene were she maybe accidentally shows one of them gorgeous globes.
But she’s a real person with feelings and the whole movie is her trying to prove that to Kirk and him just thinking he’s a loser and wining about it; they’ve got wacky friends and family who all act like their in these bad sitcoms (even the mom from That 70s Show shows up and plays the exact same part). I liked how the writers didn’t feel like they had to try coming up with new lines and jokes/ they just had people swear alot and reference Disney movies and thought that would be enough to be a comedy. And I was high as shit off this Elmers that Dana’d brung in from the Ace Hardware, so ya, I laughed alot.
I also like that the movies almost 2 hours long. I no some people think comedys have to be really smart and sharp to sustane that kind of time, but not if you have titties and people playing hockey and guys cumming in they’re pants just before the girls’ parents come over—that shits’ funny enough for like six hours.
They a[so don’t bother with making you know why the tow main charcters are in love; you just know by what kind of movie it is that she’s fucking hot off the presses and hes a bitter nerd and theyre gonna end up together so you just go along for the ride. I’ve seen this shit a billion times before so you pretendious assholes who need originally in everyhthig can SHUT YOUR fuckiNG MOUTHS ALREADY.
The coolest part Of sHE’s OUTtta My League was that it takes place before 9/11. At least I think it does cuz in the climax (heh) when everybody’s running through the airport to declare their love or whatever, one of the wacky friends yells at his boss at the security checkpoint and threatens to kick his ass—and another guy takes out a big wrench on the runway and sabotages a plane so it cant take off—and there isn’t one FBI guy or security guard or cop anywhere; in any of the scenes; not one. And I thought 2 things: times were simpler then, and wouldn’t it be cool if the cast werent ALL WHITE PEOPLE but instead like they looked like the cast of Slumdog Millionaire? Man, that’d scare the shit out of the audience if they did any of the shit they do in this movie.
At the end of the day, this movie isn’t for the critics. Its for people who know that sometimes you just need to enjoy a movie that if you were to think about it and intellectuallize it you probly wouldn’t watch. Its one of those ones that you see on cable and you have it on while your surfing the net or doing bills. Comedy doesn’t always have to be funny to be good. Thats why Shes Out of My League is the most hilarious movie i’ve seen in like ten years—that and that Molly girls’ got some amazing tits.