Kicking the Tweets

Entries in Vampyres [2015] CAP (1)


Vampyres (2015)

Hollywood's obsession with churning out Z-grade remakes of classic movies has, sadly, infected the indie horror realm. In 1974's Vampyres, director José Larraz prepared a sexy, exotic feast that deftly balanced brain food and empty calories, leaving audiences sated, surprised, and not at all ashamed. Four decades later, Victor Matellano kicks the table over and serves us cold Taco Bell on a dirt floor. How does one improve upon a dreamy tale of bisexual seductresses casually stalking motorists in the English countryside? The answer, of course, is to add a dash of dopey campers and sprinkle in some torture porn. For best results, replace the original's charismatic leads with off-brand centerfold models whose delivery is as flat as the "new" screenplay's through-line is inscrutable. Matellano clearly reveres Larraz's film, which makes his participation in this low-rent facsimile even more puzzling and dispiriting. Michael Bay would be proud.